Thursday, April 16, 2009

Under the weather

I have been a bad blogger… sorry for not writing for a while, but… It’s been a low and whining few weeks, and I rather shut up than whine…
To tell the truth I was a bit under the weather. Sometimes I do wonder if this mood swings mean depression or ever worst, but they are not so bad as to go to the dr, but bad enough to bother me.
Lots of things bother me, primarily the insecurities about today’s jobs. Half a year ago I was brave and just shrugged, saying with my English and other results I can always get a job “like this”… Seeing so many of my friends let go and seeing my ex colleagues struggle, I am not so sure anymore. Also the position I am working is the one that is usually the first to go. Of course I try to work hard, and try to show off my other skills (translating) and acquire new ones (excel, MEGA, etc), and hope for the best, but my mind is no way at ease.
Of course I am never at ease about P. either. Little picks and pricking are everyday occurrence. He never brings my son back in times. But probably things are better than with an average divorced couple, so I guess I shouldn’t be so annoyed.
Adding to this a bad (I mean BAD) case of PMS…
As for knitting… After finishing the tangled yoke cardigan I didn’t really knew what to do… I started this, I cast on for that, and then just frogging this, and frogging that…
Things seems to get better, the weather is turning not only spring- but summer-like. Bought some clothes (why shopping is so good for the female soul?). Had a couple of discussions with my managers, and had a couple of days off due to spring-brake at Chris’s school. I took my boy to roller-skate; bought him candy-floss (oh horror of horrors…LOL), and we managed to get stuck under some sunroof of a small buffet because of a huge thunderstorm complete with hailstorm…

So here I am today. Decided to try and not worry about my job. It is out of my hands. I did my best, talked to my managers, and did a couple of translation both of them with very good feedback.
I am going on with my knitting. Decided that even if it seems I frog more than I used to, but this is not because I am getting worst, but because I let go of less and less mistakes. If I see a stitch off in a lace instead of just getting around it/fudging it, I am more and more inclined to go back until I can fix it.
Also decided to loose a bit of weight, do some sports, even if it is walking around more, get a bit of color from tanning bed (the strong light and warmth does wonders for the soul). And get back into reading more on “The Secret” the Law Of Attraction and the like. I know it can work, I did “attracted” the TV set and some other stuff… It just needs some concentration.

Ok, enough of me for today. The next post will be a what’s up. Unless a miracle happens and I manage to finish some knitting…

3 comments:

KnittyKitty said...

Fel a fejjel! I'm sure you can get through this! This seems to be your "bouncing-back" phase, which is natural after the past year and what you've been going through. If it helps, summer is coming, which I hear does wonders for people! So, try not to give up, and things will be fine, sooner or later. ^_^

peony said...

Thanks...I am not planning to give up or anything... These moods keep coming in waves, and seems to get worst, but of course I try my best to deal with them.
You are right, one of the main triggers is winter with its cold darkness, but spring is here and summer is coming:-)))

Isis said...

and as we all know, not every day can be a party, but we can always find something positive in each and every day I'm sure...

I'll lose weight with you. Promise !